Wedding Updates 2

We're really getting down to the wire now. Here's what's going on:

• Date - May 24, 2009; 6:30pm.
  
• Venue - The Grove, Redfield Estate. Run by Glenview Park District. http://www.glenviewparks.org/The-Grove/Redfield-Estate.htm
  
• Colors - Deep fuschia, chartreuse, chocolate.
  
• Wedding party - Not happening. The idea did nothing but irritate me, what with all the added logistics it would've created.
  
• Dress/accessories - David's Bridal/eBay.
  
• Registry - Williams Sonoma, Macy's, Crate & Barrel. In a couple weeks, I have to dive back in and fix all the stuff that's now out of stock... and cry. What excites me the most? Probably the white, square dishes!
  
• Invitations - Now completely assembled (though still unsealed)! Still debating whether I should send them to my mom to write addresses with her lovely handwriting or have Auntie-- who has equally beautiful handwriting-- do them. I'm concerned that once I seal them-- which I would have to do first if sending them to Vegas-- would make the envelopes too bulky and difficult to write on. Also, I am not looking forward to mailing them off and praying that nothing happens to them. I'm so excited for people to seem them!
  
• Programs - With the invitations almost out of the way, I've started thinking about the programs. I saw this idea on theknot.com where the programs are about half-size, the point being the they can easily be tucked away in purses. I'm thinking of creating little booklets, cardstock cover, white paper inside. Their size will reduce the amount of cardstock I'll need. No text will be on the cover. Just a small, embossed flower to match the invites. I love this idea-- reminds me of old library books that have blank covers. Anything could be inside-- kinda romantic and mysterious...
  
• Contacts - A horribly dull chore I am SO GLAD is over!! I hate getting people's addresses! Yuck! Hooray!
  
• Other Contacts - A long story. I never had them, and was basically happy with my glasses. Sometimes there are special occasions, though, where I wouldn't mind being able to wear mascara without it rubbing off on them. Also, it makes picture-taking a nightmare. So I finally went to my eye doctor last December and ordered some disposables. Meanwhile they gave me a trial pair that have since dried out and tore stemming from disuse. Which started me thinking, When the hell are my other ones coming in?! I called and come to find out, according to their [dodgy] records, SOMEONE picked them up, but they didn't have my signature-- which they don't put too much stock in anyway because they lose those slips so often. Dummies. The guy-- who's SHOCKINGLY uneducated for someone who runs a doctor's office-- grudgingly agreed to order more for me. Wow, you mean you're actually gonna give me something I paid for? How can I ever thank you! So, I'm waiting on that.
  
• Officiant - Retired judge. No contract signed, but he said he doesn't do that, apparently... Makes me a bit nervous, now that I think about it... We wanted a civil ceremony and to us, that doesn't mean non-denominational which is what everyone seems to assume when you tell them that. And so no, we didn't want anyone ordained by a religious establishment conducting the ceremony. I don't care if they don't mention God. Eventually, we discovered that the only people allowed to conduct ceremonies outside of ministry-types (who also are allowed to come to your venue) are retired judges. How many can there really be, who are also willing and available and we can afford? That was Chris' task, so he hired the first one he found. lol
  
• Ceremony - The judge has his own schpiel hammered out. We're doing a unity candle, though since we discussed it, I learned there are a lot of different variations, so I don't know exactly how it'll go. We're not planning on a rehearsal, so we'll see... All I know is during said candle thingie, my friend has very graciously agreed to sing a song by Jewel, "What's Simple Is True". She's honestly the best singer I've ever heard, so I'm UBER excited!!!
  
• Photographer - Bella Pictures. We signed with the company months ago, but they only just selected the actual photographer. We're actually pretty miffed as they told us we'd make the selection from several runners-up. I wrote them, but they still haven't replied. Satisfaction guaranteed, so while I feel I don't have the strength to take this show on the road, I will do so if necessary.
  
• Tux - I was insistent on getting a brown tux for Chris. Since chocolate is one of our colors, I thought it was the only way to go since I ABHOR black and brown together. It always looks like an accident... So when people suggested we just get a black tux with a brown tie/vest, I told them to go to hell. As you can imagine, brown tuxes not so common so at first I thought we'd have to suck it up and get it from someplace in the city, but this past season, the Men's Wearhouse came out with a pretty smart-looking one, so SCORE!!
  
• Flowers - I FINALLY got a hold of my Auntie!! Huzzah! We are meeting with her this Tuesday at Wildfire in Oak Brook to discuss all the details. Last year she offered to head up the flower department. Flowers were never a top priority so there won't be a whole lot. I'm thinking wildflowers. I recently fell in love with wax flowers, which aren't wild, but they have a "wild" appearance plus they come in fuschia! I also think a bouquet of nothing but baby's breath would be lovely... and cheap! Also, since we're not having a wedding party, that cuts down on costs & worry here too.
  
• Honeymoon - After much bouncing back and forth, I think we've formally settled on our plans. We will take a belated honeymoon to Thailand at Christmas, so as to avoid the monsoon season. Probably Bangkok, though Phuket is GORGE-A-MOUS! There are some outstanding deals at cheaptickets.com. The bulk of the expense will be in the flight itself, but once we're there, it's smooth sailing! I already sent in my passport renewal and Chris is bringing his application to the office tomorrow since he's never had one.
  
• Decor - Since we're not having a ton of flowers, I really wanted to maximize on other decor elements that have impact and incorporate my colors, but don't involve a big investment. I saw this one episode of Martha Stewart where she creates these large tissue paper poufs. I searched online for colored tissue paper and it costs a bit more than I was originally thinking, but worth it, all things considered. My one remaining qualm is how to hang them... Our venue is historic, so they might have a problem if we nailed them to the walls... Also, the ceilings are vaulted which adds another level of difficulty. We also want something we can both put up and take down quickly. The best idea I've come up with is making a grid of twine or wire from which we hang the tissue balls and we adhere to the walls with those removable 3M tabs. I'm thinking it'll totally bow in the middle though if it doesn't fall down completely. Talk about the potential for disaster! Hopefully Auntie, Decorative Guru Extraordinaire, will think up a good solution. Until then, I am holding off on purchasing anything.
  
• Wedding bands - Both purchased. We actually have mine in our possession. Chris' is on order. His band was made by the same person who designed my engagement ring.
  
• DJ - We've booked DDSC Entertainment. A small business run by a guy and his wife. They've played our venue before, which comforted me. They were an absolute STEAL and have an online music request list. I've created about half the playlist so far.
  
• Hair/makeup - The ongoing theme I'm going for with everything is Frugal Quality. I think I've settled on TigerLily that's based in the city, but includes a free consultation/trial. They're portfolio's nice and the price is right (at least, as right as I'm gonna find, I guess).

I'm sure I've forgotten to mention something... Oh well, I can always add later. Not that anyone will read this anyway. I'm getting a bit frazzled at this point; it was such a needed relief to finally schedule a time to meet with Auntie! Even with all the kids in college now, she still finds a way to busy herself.

Wish me luck!!

Another One Bites the Dust

Someone from my department got fired yesterday. For a mistake any one of us could have easily made. So, yeah, not too fond of ShopLocal right about now... Minutes after he was let go and wrote a very terse and mysterious farewell email, we had a suspiciously convenient pre-planned meeting where it was announced to all. Our mangers' boss took the day off, some say out of pure cowardice. I just don't like that man... It was revealed that the position will not yet be backfilled, but it might be someday it's found necessary... Of COURSE it's necessary, stupid! It was necessary before they let anyone go! So now his accounts will be divided among the survivors. Same old story... I hope I can survive until I choose to leave. They hire people, give them way too big a workload; when said people complain, Boss says we'll have to make it work; too big workload leads to forgetting to do something; all hell breaks loose; people are fired. Optional: replacement is easily found from corps of eager, underpaid temps.

The fired guy was one of the more senior members of the team, with many of the hardest accounts. None of that matters, though. If there's an issue, the boss either has to fire or be fired. As a sort of mini-protest/goodbye all of Ops knocked off a couple hours early to wish him well at the bar across the street. It was poignant, but fun. I went back to the office to find a couple of my clients flipping out because they couldn't get a hold of me. Relax, people! Jeez Louise!

I wonder who'll be next...

Children

I have never had a stirring desire to have children, though I always considered adoption the only option if I ever changed my mind. Lately, though-- say, the last year maybe-- I've been experiencing these sudden moments of maternal longing. Ew.

First of all, I'll begin by explaining why I never saw myself as a mother: I have never felt the emotional pull in that regard, but I am also intellectually opposed to the idea. I question why so many people want to have children. I honestly don't get it. I end up chalking it up to all the same reasons I find myself feeling lately, which are ultimately unethical in my estimation, and further argument of why I shouldn't.

1. People want to feel power over something/someone. No one can deny how children look up to their parents. When we are young, Mom and Dad know everything in a hard black & white way. Whichever way Mom and Dad see the world and portray it-- that's the way it exists. That kind of support can really boost a person's confidence.
2. People want to create their own universe. Outside of family, there are truly few people you can count on in this world. And maybe the family you've been stuck with so far has left you wanting more. Children are the built-in date on Saturday night. Moreover, children link you to other people who have children.
3. People are narcissistic. They want miniature versions of themselves.
4. Religion.
5. Tradition. The world revolves around children and families. If you don't have children, it is assumed you either can't or you're weird. It is never portrayed as a healthy, viable option.
6. People think it will fix their marriage. Yes, people still manage to cling to the belief.

Maybe I'm missing something here. Maybe people out there have other, better reasons.

Maybe you're saying, "So what? People do stupid things all the time; why is this such a big deal to you?" I think by creating life, you are inherently responsible for anything that happens to that life. And since every single person who's ever existed has been wronged or hurt, no parent is without blame. This is why adoption is so different. Here you are at least atoning for someone else's mistake. Lemonade from lemons. Making babies when there are so many children who go homeless is like going to the grocery store for a carton of milk when there are already two in your fridge at home.

I'm feeling a bit silly right now. I'm afraid I'm giving an opinion that no one will agree with. Or they might assume I'm talking about someone else... Well, I hope I've raised some interesting points even if you don't find them particularly valid.

A Room of One's Own... in a House of Someone Else's

Chris and I have semi-officially decided that we will move in with his parents after we're married. He's told the p-s and they're thrilled, of course. We are warned against it on all fronts, though it really comes down to necessity in this winter economy. I want-- nay, need-- to go back to school, and the only way we'll be able to afford it is if our rent disappears. I think even if I could get a school loan-- the odds of which grow slimmer each day-- I don't know that I'd want to at this point. I still owe on loans from my first school, and will for some time. This economic crisis really has me wondering at how high-risk a school loan actually is. I understand the concept of working and going to school part-time, and have even tried it. I guess the problem there was how circumstances changed before I got the chance to finish. I need to be able to go straight through, if I'm to do it at all.

Chris' parents can manage less and less in recent years. We visit a couple times a month, and do what we can, but it would be nice to be able to help them more than we're able now. They have a good-sized house. We'd stay in the basement, which has its own kitchenette and bathroom. This could be doable, right?

Obama Fever Still Makes Some Break Out in a Rash

Yes, I am so very excited about Obama! After voting, I walked the two blocks home and passed by several people who couldn't contain the urge to beam at me-- a perfect stranger!

Someday I will probably regret not going to see Obama speak in Grant Park. Perhaps living in Chicago is something I take for granted. I did meet him once before his bid for the presidency. He's truly a magical figure whose affect on people is like something out of a fable. I was working the coat room for a fundraiser at the Field Museum. Out of all the celebrities and high rollers in attendance, he was the one person there who everyone rushed over to meet. As he shook my hand, people gushed about how much he inspired them. Looking back, it was all pretty incredible.

At the time, I lived in the same Chicago neighborhood, Hyde Park, as he did-- which is such an amazing cross-section of the whole country. It seems quite apt that Obama makes his home there. After seeing gang signs and drug deals on one street, you walk a few blocks over and find the University of Chicago, with its stately gothic architecture and respected multi-nobel prize winning faculty. Another few blocks away you'll see a paddy wagon waiting outside a high school for the inevitable lunchtime crimes stemming from the fact that it has no cafeteria. Still another few blocks and you'll find rows of historic and gated mansions. Hyde Park's discrepant population certainly makes for an interesting living environment. I can't help but wonder if Obama's experience there accounts for some of his so-called "socialist" tendencies. What is more maddening than looking out your window and seeing a Mercedes drive by one minute and a shooting the next? Like the rest of the nation, Hyde Park is such an amazing place, but so many-- mostly because of socio-economic circumstances-- live at the bottom. Greenspan himself seems less than enthusiastic about capitalism these days, at least in its present laissez-faire form. Wealth has a funny way of refusing to trickle down.

Obama has more than just these social issues to overcome. With so much optimism abounding, it's easy to forget about the nearly half of the country who didn't vote for him, electoral votes aside. My mother, included. I haven't talked to her since the election. Honestly, I don't even want to address it. She stunningly still believes in Bush's competence and ability to run this country. And she's not even an idiot! As a nation, we are able to empirically remember George Washington and Abe Lincoln as good presidents, due in part, I'm sure to nostalgia and propoganda. It seems as time passes, though, that the quality of a president becomes less and less fact and more partisan opinion. I hope for everyone's sake this ceases to be the rule and four years from now, we can all-- more or less-- have confidence and pride in the guy in charge, despite attempts to rake him through the mud.

I hear Obama's team is already planning on how to overturn many of the policies enacted by the Bush administration during his first few months in office. Like hitting the reset button on an eight-year oopsie. Let's hope it indeed happens, and it's enough to get people like my mother on board the O-Train... I've saved the seat next to me.

Wedding Updates

To bring everyone up to speed-- without boring with the painful details-- we have checked off the following:

• Venue (The Grove, Redfield Estate in Glenview Illinois)
• Caterer (Catered by Design)
• Invitations (done more or less & in theory, except for the assembly of the actual guest list and their addresses)
• Wedding party (there won't be one, which is one-- or ten-- fewer things to worry about)
• Dress
• Bridal accessories (shoes, veil, jewelry)
• Flowers (possibly done by Auntie)
• Decorations (conceptually thought out)
*• DJ (investigating the current favorite)
**• Officiant (underway)

*I found a DJ advertised on Craig's List that didn't scare me and had a website, where they give you access to their music database. I tried to stump them with some of-- what I thought-- might be the tougher songs I'd like to have. Oddly enough, they really had every song I looked for. And should they not have something, they'll get it, apparently. They seem doable in terms of the budget. I think we'll be in touch.

**Maybe a couple months ago, I appointed the task of finding the officiant to Chris. When I tried looking online for secular-types-with-the-authority-vested-in-them, the pickings were slim and mixed all in with those religious peeps who WERE WILLING to perform civil ceremonies. I'm sorry, but a statement like that just rubs me the wrong way. I'm not religious and Chris is buddhist. (Incidentally, buddhists typically don't involve their religion in their wedding ceremonies.) In this country-- where there is supposedly a separation of church and state-- why shouldn't we be able to find someone who's not a minister to marry us at the place of our choosing instead of some yucky, depressing courthouse?
After searching the web, I came up with a contact on our state's .gov site and emailed them. They weren't the right people, but they gave me a phone number-- that they said may or may not be helpful-- for marriage court.
Today Chris called this number and found out a few things:
• Illinois does not have justices of the peace. How weird, I know...
• Active judges are not allowed to marry outside the courthouse.
• There are only three retired judges in the whole state that will marry us in the place of our choosing, none of whom are women, which I thought would've been kinda cool.
The plan is to contact these judges and hopefully we feel comfortable with one of them. If we don't, we will have to find a unitarian to do the job.

We shall see...

The Economy, Jobs & the Things...

The economy now has me officially concerned. Generally speaking, I don't know that my job has a whole lot to offer, however, when it comes to being an accurate and timely measure of the country's financial health, it does keep me relatively in the know.

As you may or may not have heard, as of last week, Linens 'n Things (aka the poor man's Bed, Bath & Beyond) is kaput-skies. They are liquidating all their stores and selling their stock for up to 30% off (which sure doesn't sound like enough to me, but whatever...). It's one of my accounts, and certainly not my favorite one, so I didn't cry about it. I did say, though, that I wish it had happened to Mervyns instead. Today, it appears as though I got my wish. If I believed at all in the power of the mind-- or rather, the power of my mind-- I might think it was my fault, what with the timing and all. What's super weird is nobody knows what the deal is here! Not my boss-- who only knew what I just told her--, not Client Services, and not even my boss' boss. Hopefully they can figure out things by this afternoon.

My Mervyns contact herself left me a voicemail saying they were surprised I even sent them the last preview notice because they were packing up their desks as she spoke (or is it spaketh? I like when words end with "-eth"...) and expected to vacate the office by the end of this week. Anyway, I know I should be happy because that account is THE DEVIL. They have these wackadoodle standards that have so many conditions... Ex. Enter titles all in caps, even if not so on the pdf, except for when gender is included at the end of the title, which should be in lowercase and Don't use the Price Qualifier field but put what would normally go there in the Sales Description field separated by two hard returns (one white space), unless the Original Deal is not for the main product but for the Shown item, in which case it should immediately follow the Shown item in the Sales Description and Never enter listings during a full moon unless it's during the vernal equinox or a year of the chicken.

I really feel badly for them, as people. I do not at all envy their position and wish them the best. I'm sure they were so uniquely anal only because their bosses put pressure on them to be so.

I haven't told my bosses yet, but about a month ago I was told that American Signature/Value City Furniture was also leaving us (also my account) at the end of this month. Not to mention that I noticed while doing my daily site checks the other day that Pruitt's has started posting their own ads rather than have us process them! So all told, we're talking about my personally losing 5 accounts in the past month! That's about 3/5 of my accounts! Plus many of my other accounts have significantly reduced the number of planned promotions.

I was only planning on staying at this job until next September, at which point I want to go to nursing school. With the way things are going though, I'm not confident I will be able to get a school loan. Sometimes hospitals will finance your schooling on a condition similar to that of an indentured servant, but nothing like that seems to exist in my area. I'll have to keep looking, though, and maybe we'll be able to swing community college at least. If it came down to it, we would be willing to move in with Chris' parents, but did anything good ever come out of moving in with your in-laws? For anyone involved? Of course I realize that very shortly we probably won't have an option what with their declining health, but another story for another blog for another day...